Puffers

Smoking. Its not a habit im keen on, but not being a smoker i cant really attest to the "mmm..lovely fags" pleasureable aspect of it, although i dont object to other folk taking the habit up and enjoying as they see fit.
The bit that bothers me? Cigarette butts. Its come to my attention of late that my neighbours smoke a lot. The way i`ve found this out is by the amount of cigarette butts which are accumulating in my garden, presumably by way of the middle/index finger and thumb flick which is apparently the coolest thing since hiding in a freezer and prentending to be an ice cream. I do know a lot of smokers who are quite careful about disposing of their "fends" (already im sick of writing "cigarette butss/ends" in full...so this clumsy condensing portmanteau will have to do. Deal with it.) but there are still quite a number who insist on thinking that fend firing is the sport of kings and they should be lauded accordingly.

Surely there must be a way to deal with this? In the case of my neighbors i will be having a word, but f it keeps up i may start to gather together all the offending fends i find (try saying that after a couple of glasses of wine), and post them back through their letterbox, along with some of the contents of the cat litter tray. Or maybe i shall take every item in the garden and build an enormound sculpture out of it, which will both bemuse and frighten them. If im lucky they`ll believe it to be some sort of deity and begin worshipping it. All hail, the great God Fagash.

Sir Crack of Mandibles